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DMZ The Chronicles of an Al Mazrah Taxi Driver


Another day, another opportunity to provide a public service to the operators of Al Mazrah. I put on my favorite Burger Town T-Shirt, comb out my absolutely fantastic mustache, don my 1 plate vest, pocket a throwing knife, and I'm out the door. I hit the map, and ping the closest vehicle. An SUV, awesome! Room for a full squad, decent gas mileage. Sadly, I have to dispatch an AQ guard or two, but I've got a job to do. I could take their weapon, but why bother? Not out here to fight.

Get to the SUV, and BOOM it turns black, and some ZZ Top starts rocking out of the speakers. Now we're talking. Hit the road, off to my first stop: a gas station. Pull in to top off the tank, and run inside and grab a gas can. Never know how far these operators need to go, so I need to be prepared. Back on the road, time to fire up the prox chat.


Taking some pop shots here and there from the AQ, including some from under the bridge (not sure why that's a thing) but all is well. Calling out on prox chat "Al Mazrah Uber, here for you. Exfils, dead drops, or any POI, I'll get you there or die trying" but no takers yet. I pull into the gas station near Rohan Oil, might as well repair and refuel, save my gas cans. Suddenly I hear talking over comms. "Hey guys, need a ride? CATCH A RIDE" but I don't get a response. Oh well, almost full, time to roll out. Suddenly the gas station door opens, and I get a thermite to the face. As I bleed out, I see three operators come out, guess they were hiding in there. "Hope you needed those dog tags, gents. Sorry I had zero weapons!" Back to the lobby I go.

Back in. Great, I spawned in the Southeast. Always a car around here. Oh, an ATV. Not ideal, but it'll do. Back to the gas station I go. I'm re-fueling, and suddenly I see a hatchback barreling towards me. I hear "friendly friendly" and see him lock up the brakes and hit reverse. "Hey man, need some gas? Come on over! I don't even have a gun" and explain my job. He rolls up, and I offer my ATV in exchange for his hatchback. Guy agrees, what a legend. Got two gas cans and room for 3 now, upgrade! I hear the train whistle in the distance, usually means customers, so I hit the gas.

I see at least two operators on the train. I'm on the highway, but I know they can hear me. "Hey guys, CATCH A RIDE!" and offer my services. I hear "Is this dude F'n serious" and I explain I am. I jump the curb and get next to the train. "Room for all of you, hop on! I'll take you wherever you need to go, or die trying!" They chose the 2nd option. I'm suddenly enveloped with gunfire and Semtex explosions. As I lay bleeding out, some dude in a wetsuit (In the desert?) comes over an executes me. "Take the dog tags so I don't die in vain, friend" I say, as he roots through my pack. "Dude doesn't have shit" says Scuba Steve, and back to the lobby I head. Tough day in Al Mazrah.


Perhaps the 3rd time is the charm, right? I'm over in Sariff Bay, not ideal for a man with a single throwing knife, but I manage to get a Chop Top. "Oh yeah, that's right" I say to myself as it's suddenly decked out in Christmas lights. Interesting flex, but we've got work to do. Grab a gas can and I'm rolling along, and see an UTV. Murdered out with some tunes on, I'm ready to go. CATCH A RIDE! I'm cruising down the highway, and a sniper rifle rings out. I'm down immediately, and say "well, damn, guess you don't need a ride." I get a response, surprisingly, and an invite to a squad. Accept, and I've got comms. "Hey guys, your Uber driver is here. You guys need a ride? 3 SAM sites, you say? Hop in! " Its a duo, one with a mic, and the other focused on murder. I drop them off at a SAM site, using my ride to thin the herd. While they secure it, I head to repair the car, and get downed. My customers do me a solid and revive me, and we're back at it with a freshly painted UTV.

The SAM site rings out and suddenly there's a supply drop in the middle of Sariff Bay. "New destination, driver. Take us there!" Your wish is my command, good operator, and we're off. Seems we weren't the only team with that idea though, and a gun battle ensues, with about 40 AQ in the mix just to add to the chaos. I pick up a gun and try to help, but I'm a driver, not a fighter. I spend a fair amount of time relaxing on the ground, but my team prevails. They get their loot, and I get a fancy 3 plate vest from the other team. Repair the car, and we're off.

My customer says "Hey, let's take this Uber to the air!" and pings a light helo. Now we're talking. Full speed into the soccer stadium we go, and we're airborne in a hail of gunfire. Land on a gas station to fix the bird, and we're off to pick up a hostage mission, located on a ship in the harbor. My customers jump out to grab it, and are engaged by AQ. I attempt to land to rescue them, and proceed to get the helo destroyed. They handle the threat, and head into the ship for loot. Me, I have a service to provide. I dash off towards an LTV about 230m away, and by the time they are top side, I'm waiting with a shiny black LTV, blasting some Alice Cooper. My clients are impressed, and off to the hostage building we go. They are confident they can grab the hostage, so I wait outside like a responsible getaway driver often does. Quite a battle ensues, and both my customers go down. "Well, here goes nothing, Raz" and in I go. I drop 3 armored bots as the hostage explodes. Headed towards my guys, no armor, and surprise, I get beamed from the other side of a concrete wall. True to my word, I die trying.

This time I'm in the north. Always a baad time up here, so I sprint to a cargo truck and GTFO. Take a bunch of damage heading south, but make it to an unguarded gas station and fuel up. I trade up to an LTV I drive past, and continue on. CATCH A RIDE! It's a slow match, and as the time ticks down, no customers step up. No response in lobby chat either. I make my rounds, and keep the LTV gassed up and repaired as I go. The gas is expanding now, so it's now or never. I'm dipping in and out of the gas, thankful for those rad blockers I found in the gas station bathroom. Another car passes me, but the operators seem uninterested in me. We're down the the final exfil, and I spot an operator running solo across the dunes. Horn honking, I yell "Catch a RIDE" and pull up in front of him. No time for invites, but he jumps on top of the car. Good enough for me, hammer down towards the final exfil.

As we get close, it's obvious that there's an all out operator war happening. Without any communication, all I can do is give my stowaway the best chance at the chopper. I head towards the far side, and race past it at full speed. I'm getting peppered with small arms fire, and my guy jumps off and gets in the chopper. I circle back around, making a valiant effort to distract and confuse anyone at the landing site. As the chopper starts to ascend, my vehicle gets disabled by a team left behind, and I swap seats and jump out the passenger side. I grab some cover, and watch the bird fly away as the gas washes over me. "You did good, Raz, you did good" I say to myself.

Am I a hero? Nah, I'm just an Al Mazrah Uber driver. Not to most glorious way to play DMZ, sure, but it beats collecting trash and depositing it into specific dumpsters. So, to all the other operators out there, if you hear "CATCH A RIDE" let me know where you need to go. I'll get you there, or I'll die trying. It's what I do.


Part 2:

I wake up to the sound of small arms fire around my apartment in Ahkdar Village, meaning the operators are back in town, and it’s time to get back to the grind. I somehow got all the blood out of my Burger Town T-shirt last night, so I get ready and start to head out the door. I spot a manilla folder with some sensitive documents on the dresser and open it up, wondering what this is about. It’s a cease and desist from some infidel at Uber in America. Apparently, I’m violating a copyright of some sort by shouting their brand name around. Don’t want any free advertising, I can respect that. The Al Mazrah TAXI Company it is. I adjust my clan tag and head out.

I grab a cargo truck from down the street and start my work. The first gas station I pass has two gas cans in it, meaning this is going to be a good day. I start down my usual route, calling out “Al Mazrah Taxi Service, CATCH A RIDE” and putting a message out to the lobby that I’m here for them. As I pass the airport, I see an operator crossing the road, and try to hail him on comms. I hear “friendly” and slow down to offer my service. He doesn’t shoot, which is a good start but as I explain my intentions, I catch a bullet to the brain from off to the side. My customer had a friend who didn’t seem to like prox chat it seems. As I await the warm embrace of the Squad Eliminated screen, I get a revive pistol to the arm. Suddenly, I’m back up and I’ve got an invite. My customer saved my life with his revive pistol (which is a really generous move) and offers an apology for his mute teammate, and I’m back in the action. With no weapons and two gas cans, I’m ready to rock.

I get a ping for a hostage rescue, and we’re off. I’ve been doing this work for a while now, so while I might not have a gun, my vehicle is my weapon. AQ bounce off the front bumper one after another, and we pull up to the hostage building without further problems. My customers jump out, and they clear the building within a minute. Off the balcony and into the back the hostage goes. A speed bump or two and we’re at the chopper. I’m offered a ride out, but there’s time on the clock, so I decline and race off toward Al Mazrah City. First job of the day, successful. I’m feeling good, and I skirt the gas looking for anyone that needs help, yelling CATCH A RIDE over prox chat. I see another operator race pass on an ATV, and wish him well. He jumps onto the final chopper as I circle the area, deciding to run interference for him. I know how it is being a solo operator out here, so I don’t take the rounds coming from the chopper personally as he lifts off to safety. The storm rolls in, and I breathe deep.

I find myself back over by Rohan Oil, and sprint up the hills, knowing this spawn is a death sentence for an unarmed taxi driver. I snatch a UTV from nearby and decide to roll the dice and hit the gas station to the west. I’m gassing up and start to hear chatter over the comms. “There’s a car, car, car” and I furiously attempt to explain my intentions through the hail of bullets. I’m downed, but the team decides to invite me instead of wrecking me, so I join up and introduce myself as Raz, owner of Al Mazrah Taxi Company. The 3 man squad laugh and decide to see this play out. I grab the two gas cans from inside, and ask for a destination. Suddenly, we’re getting attacked, as another 3 man squad rolled up from the east while we were getting our bearings. It’s a hectic battle, but my new teammates were well coordinated and all used mics, which surely helps on the battlefield. I am rewarded with a 3 plate vest, and we head off towards a Collect Intel contract.

A four man team with a skilled wheelman makes quick work of these easy contracts, and we’ve already got a destroy supplies contract while a teammate climbs the tower. Truthfully, at this point I’m just driving around running over AQ and watching these pros work. The supplies are destroyed, and my team is in the tunnels erasing red diamonds left and right. I’m parked at the stairs, waiting patiently for them to be ready for more shenanigans. They jump back in and we’re off, Flight of the Valkyries hitting just right as we head towards two safes in close proximity to one another. From the sounds of it, they are going after the $200k challenge, so I drop them two to each safe and break off to hit a gas station, knowing I’m going to be in this one to the end. Gassed up and repaired, I’m back just in time to clear out an entire chopper drop of AQ with a well-timed blast through the smoke, and my team is back in the car with two more safes near the airport on the map. While cracking the first one, we get engaged by another team, but they quickly retreat when they realize they bit off more than they bargained for. We’re flush with cash now, and I get a buy station ping at the airport. I drop them off and throw my cash down for them to help the cause. I jump back in to the UTV, ready to rock, but suddenly an LTV with a turret on top drops from the sky. “Hey driver, how about an upgrade?” is music to my ears, and I jump in, turning it jet black and queuing up some ZZ Top for the final act.

We’re racing to avoid the gas at this point, so I’ve got to go the long way around. “Driver, we’re almost out of gas!” I hear, but I’m already on it. “Not my first rodeo, boys” as I refuel with one of the 3 gas cans still in my small backpack. We dip through the city and pull up to the final chopper that’s already on the ground, ready for a fight. Strangely, there’s no other operators around, and it’s a happy scene as they rejoice at over $240k flushing the pockets of the squad. I jump onto the chopper to throw down my measly $7500 for the cause and congratulate them on the good run. One of the operators throws down a kitted-out weapon for me, but I decline it. “It’s not going to do me any good now, gentlemen. You keep it” I say as I walk backwards down the ramp. “Pleasure doing business with you guys. Tell your friends about Raz and Al Mazrah Taxi Service, and I hope to see you again soon.” I feel the sand back under my boots and settle in to watch the takeoff. “Wait, he’s not on the chopper, what is he doing?” I hear. But I knew what I was getting into when I started. “That chopper’s not for me, my friends” I say. “I belong in Al Mazrah.” I’ve done my job successfully, and as I feel the gas wash over me, I see the chopper fade into the distance with the chatter of appreciation and laughter for a job well done.

My next deployment ends within minutes, as the AQ seemed to get wind of my 40+ kills per match using my front bumper, and I get melted running towards a chop top. As I wait for the darkness to take me, I hear a team roll past and tell me to plead. I’m a solo player, so I’m not blessed with that ability, so back to square one I go.


I spawn in the far north, another death sentence when you are putting those dukes up from the start. I race towards the nearest Chop Top, dropping 3 AQ with the same throwing knife as I go. I jump in, and giggle just like I do every time I see it suddenly decked out with Christmas lights and presents in the back. I’m cruising down the highway calling out “Catch a RIIIIIDE” but not getting any bites. I heard about the party over at Building 21, but didn’t think it’d be that bad for business. I spot some operators on top of the train, and veer off to offer a ride that can take shortcuts. They are enthusiastic about returning the “CATCH A RIDE” but decline the ride. I keep rolling, and soon I’m jumping dunes over by Rohan Oil when suddenly I get sniped out of my driver’s seat. Nothing on comms, so I lay there waiting for the 2nd shot. It doesn’t come, but I hear a parachute open behind me. I spin around, ready to face my death, and groan as I see my attacker.

It's goddamn Scuba Steve.

His wetsuit wearing ass wastes me with a pistol, and leaves without even looking in my backpack. A wetsuit in the f’n desert. Boggles the mind, but I guess surviving Atomgrad and forcing yourself into that neoprene every day breaks a man of all honor. Back into the darkness I go.

I decide to have one last run before hanging up my keys for the day, and I start over by the fortress. After so many unsuccessful exfils, the AQ seem to have mercy on me once more, and their shots hit everything but me as I jog past and jump into a cargo truck. I hit my usual stations and I’m flush with gas cans, ready for the late game push. It’s a quiet lobby, and my chat messages go unanswered once more. I spot a light chopper and decide to try a new tactic. After running over everyone in the area, I take to the skies, covering ground a lot faster now. I start looking for action, dreams of coming down from the clouds like an angel for some operator pinned down by fire. However, all I find is a 6 man squad using the weapons case as bait, who REALLY don’t want me around. I spent the rest of the match circling the entire map yelling “Catch a Ride” to no one. The operators up at the observatory decide to leave with their case shortly before the gas starts to spread, so I’ve got free reign in the skies once more. As the gas pushes out, I’m staying just outside, looking for anyone who needs help. I spot an operator running his heart out to get ahead of the line, and I swing down to try to help. I quickly learn he’s not on comms, and his decision to stop and shoot at me turns out to be his last mistake. The gas downs him, and I hover and watch him gasp until he’s a goner purely out of spite. Another can of gas into the chopper, and I’m back cloud surfing to the final exfil.

I arrive to a heated battle for the chopper and decide to just watch from maximum altitude while the carnage develops. It seems like a 3 man squad earns exclusive use of the chopper, and I decide to have some fun. I jump out of my chopper and land on top of their exfil chopper with 4 seconds left till takeoff. These guys are on prox chat, so I listen for a second to them gloating about their squad wipe a few moments before. I pick my moment, and say “yeah, you guys really showed them who’s boss, eh?” And enjoy the panic as gunfire explodes from all sides. I drop down to the side and say “see you boys in Al Mazrah next time” and jump back home.

I’m a taxi driver in Al Mazrah. Not because it pays out tons of XP, but because the moments it creates are more fun than trying to collect a bunch of blowtorches. To the squads that have enjoyed my services so far, thanks for being cool. Spread the word, when you see a message from Raz on the chat board, or hear “CATCH A RIDE!” it’s just that guy in a Burger Town T-Shirt trying to provide that excellent service you’ll only find in Al Mazrah.

Oh, and to Scuba Steve, know that when I see that flash of neoprene through my window, I know you aren’t friendly now. I’ll save a bumper just for you.


The Equalizer
Kudos to you, sir! :D

This is a helluva narrative!!! :D

I actually tried to be an UBER driver once...

Pulled up in a Cargo Truck to a team of 3 saying, "I am heading for the ExFil.. You guys want a ride??"

Got my ass shot up to cries of "FUCK YOU!!!!" and laughter...

No good deed goes unpunished.. :rolleyes::rolleyes:


The Equalizer
I actually tried this "UBER" thing yesterday.. It IS fun just driving around... I grabbed a cargo truck and was filling up at a station when I got snipe'ed...

I said "DOOD!! I am just the UBER Driver!! Un-armed non combatant!!!"

The guy who snipe'ed was sincerely apologetic.. :D

I might do some again today and post the full-length video..

I can't do it too often during the day because my running commentary drives my wife crazy! :D heh


“This is a restricted area” blaring over a loudspeaker wakes me up earlier than I expect. The damn Commander in his big bad chopper is over my apartment again, asserting his dominance over Ahkdar Village. I grab my keys and head out, determined to go find some operators and bring them straight back here to knock Captain Asshole straight out of the sky. I'm Raz, owner/operator of the Al Mazrah Taxi Service, and I've got a job to do.

I grabbed a cargo truck and hit the road. As usual, Scooter left me some gas cans at the usual spots, so I was flush with fuel in no time. This truck surely isn’t my preferred ride, as Big Betsy doesn’t have the best turning radius, so I’ve got one eye on the road, the other scanning for an upgrade. I see a sliver of blades under the highway, so I pull over to take a closer look. Low and behold, a light chopper just sitting there! No idea what AQ rocket scientist decided that putting a helicopter UNDER the overpass was a good idea, but I quickly figured out what the AQ thought about me dropping down and snatching it from them. But hey, I’m airborne, bitches!


I head over towards the shopping center, calling out to anyone in the area. Nothing in Al Mazrah covers ground like a taxi driver in a chopper, and I’m there in no time. I spot a duo running across the road, and hail them over comms. No lead flying in my direction is a good start, and they take me up on a ride. “What are you fine gentlemen doing in Al Mazrah today?” I ask, ready for anything. My new friends are in luck! They have a mission to extract data from a helicopter, but have zero idea how to accomplish this feat. “Well guys, hold on to something, let’s get er done!” I exclaim, and race over the port with the tunes blaring. A quick 180 flare and we’re landing on the helipad, no enemies in sight. I jump out and tell them to extract the data, and we’re outta there before any trouble comes our way. “Now what, driver?” ask my customers, and I explain that it’s as easy as exfil! Ping me one, and we’re there. I throw another gas can into my thirsty bird, and head towards their ping. Halfway there, I gain altitude and stop. “Whoa whoa, why’d we stop, taxi man?” they ask, but I’m looking at the map. “Negative on that exfil, my friends. I’m not taking you there. There’s death over in them caves. Like I said, I’ll get you there safe, or die trying, and I don’t feel like dying today.” I ping a secondary exfil over by Sawah Village, and we skirt the radiation at the Observatory on the way. One of the guys parachuted down to call in the chopper, and I was there ready to scoop him back to safety immediately. When the chopper came, they dropped down to exfil, thanked me for my service (5 stars!) and I was rocking again.

A quick blast over Rohan Oil and past a group sniping on top of the skyscrapers led me over to the police station, where I heard the beautiful call of “friendly friendly” over the radio. A duo was running from a horde of Tier 3 AQs, obviously angry with whatever shenanigans these two were just up to. “CATCH A RIDE” I yelled, and they tried to jump onto the chopper. Sadly, this taxi driver has some weird rules, including the inability to let customers sit on the chopper unless we’re teamed up. We settled for a delicate balancing act as they chopper surftheir way to safety. I touched down once we were clear of the horde, and I jumped out to perform the most dangerous of maneuvers when staring down two armored operators pointing automatic weapons right at my Burger Town T-shirt – figuring out squad invites. Thankfully, I’m well aware that I need to be joining THEIR squad, so we were on the same team and back in the air. I spotted a supply drop to the south, and swung down to let them have their pick. They came back to the chopper looking like badasses and pinged the next drop. We met no resistance, and they decided that they’d rather not push their luck, and pinged the closest exfil. “That’s a negative, Ghost Rider” as I saw the exfil at the caves pinged once more. “I’m getting you boys out of here alive, we’re headed southwest.” Situational awareness reminded me that the SAM site at the airport was active recently, so we scraped the hard deck following the road past my apartment and got to the exfil drop without issue. One of them dropped out to call their ride, and I circled back around for pickup.

Suddenly, buddy on the ground was down and doing the dead man’s shuffle to cover. My other customer jumped out to save him, and I clawed for altitude under heavy fire. Chopper smoking, I hit max altitude and got my bearings. My customers were back up but taking a beating from the ridge, and I saw the two man squad raining hell down on them. The exfil chopper was on final approach, and my guys were pinned down hard. It was a bad situation, but what’s a taxi driver to do? I didn’t even have a weapon. Or did I? I remembered my mantra: I’ll get you there, or I’ll die trying. “Well Raz, I guess today it’s the second option” I said to myself and I swung the chopper over the ridge. “It’s been a pleasure helping you guys today” I said. And with one last “CATCH A RIDE” I hopped into the passenger seat.

The chopper fell like a sweaty player’s pants when you pull out a Victus XMR, and exploded in a glorious fireball of destruction. There was no bleed out time, death was quick. As I faded away into the black, I could hear my customers praising my heroism as the chopper lifted them away from Al Mazrah. Whether I got the guys on the ridge, I’ll never know, but it was another job well done, and I faded away happy.

I came out of the blackness close to home, and within walking distance of an SUV. “This feels like a good run, Raz” I said as I swung over to the station to grab some gas and get to work. A quick blast across the runway at the airport didn’t turn up any customers, so I headed back to the highway, and saw a solo operator running out of the west side of the village towards the radio tower, AQ in full pursuit. “Hey buddy, you need a ride!” I yelled, and sped over to assist. I didn’t get a response on comms, but I assumed that after introducing all the AQ chasing him to my front bumper, he’d get the message. He went down right as I plastered the last of his attackers and pulled to a stop right next to him. I jumped out, fists in the air, and immediately sent an invite to join up, knowing the only way I could save him now was to squad up.

What I didn’t know is he had a friend hiding at the base of the radio tower. As I stood there, backpack full of gas and intentions of a rescue on my mind, I caught an entire Fennec mag into my body. “Ok, ok, you didn’t need a ride” I yell, as he rudely polishes me off with a finishing move. The darkness comes, and I brush off the defeat. Perhaps my moustache was threatening, perhaps they’ve just been burned too many times. If only they’d been using prox chat, it’s possible they’ve have caught a ride.


I decide to go for one last run, and I find myself in the hills between the quarry and Rohan Oil. A terrible place for a wheelman, and I test my cardio running 300+ meters towards the nearest car. It’s swarming with AQ, but so many unsuccessful exfils has them shooting like Stormtroopers, and I race off towards the gas station. The AQ there never see me coming, and I splatter 3 of them as I park, and dispatch the sniper on the roof with my only throwing knife. Always good to clear this station, as I know I’ll be back. Gassed up, I head back south, and see a team of two on the road. “CATCH A RIDE, my friends!” They stop, turn, and I’ve got two glints shining at me like Elton John at a carnival. “You guys need a ride?” I hold my breath, waiting for death.

“Sure, man, we’ll take a ride” they say, and they jump on top of the car. I ask if they want to join squads, and they decline, and one of them makes a point to aim straight at my skull from above. “So, uh, where do you fine gents want to go?” I ask, hoping that they want to go somewhere nearby. “Take us wherever there are other operators Raz, we are hunting.”

My blood runs ice cold. We didn’t squad up. I didn’t use my name. How did these operator hunters know who I was? It seems word of my exploits has been getting out, and these guys obviously weren’t messing around. With only my fists to protect me, as my throwing knife remained in that sniper down the road, I weighed my options. “Well, uh, the UAV at the quarry is online, perhaps you’d like to start there?” I ask softly. “Yeah, that works, let’s go” they say, with a rifle still pointed through the roof.

I roll into the quarry, eyes darting towards all my escape routes, ready to race off as soon as they jump off the car. I’ve done this long enough to know that these operators have some superhuman ability to stay on top of the car during even the most incredible of maneuverers, so until they jumped off, I wasn’t getting out of this one. I cruised around, but there was no movement at all, and my deadly customers didn’t waver. “Driver, back to Rohan Oil. The SAM site just went red.” “Whatever you say, guys” and off we went. I rolled up to the SAM site at full speed, hoping a quick entrance would scatter any teams there and provide a window for my escape. Rockets fire towards the sky, but again, no operators were around. One of them jumps off and hits the UAV tower, but still their prey eludes them. I could tell that they were NOT happy with my services, so I offered “how about the shopping mall, my friends? It’s a popular drop of point for me, and an exfil is right there as well. Should be a target rich environment!” They seemed to agree, so we hit the road, rifle still aimed squarely at my cranium.

As we approached the exfil site, I hit the gas station to repair damage, and my window of opportunity opened! My customers stopped a sniper glint up on the hill and jumped off the car to flank them. That’s all I needed, and it was hammer down time! I sped out of there, thanking them for not killing me, and was across the bridge and back near the airport in no time. I felt bad for those operators on the hill, in a way, but obvious exfil campers were likely easy pickings for these hunters. I swung through and picked up some more gas and ran a loop through the city and back down past Rohan Oil once more. No others hunters out for my blod, and the gas station was still clear, so things were looking up. As I approached Sa’id City, I made the call to avoid the Shopping Mall and head south, as I didn’t want to be the next notch on the belt for those guys. I spotted two operators at the buy station, so I gathered myself and got back to work.


“Oh, hey Raz, you’re back. You want any of this stuff? This trio had some good loot on them.” It was my bloodthirsty customers. I had driven right back into their arms. Dammit! Another choice to be made. Could I hit the gas and be gone before they wiped me? I knew my odds weren’t good, so I decided to let it play out. I jumped out of the car and walked over. “Nah guys, I don’t need any guns, that’s not really my thing, but could I take this 3-plate vest right here?” I knew any escape would be easier with a bit of extra armor, so I pulled it on as soon as I got the OK. “So, was this the team from the hills over there?” I asked, curious as to how their day was going. “Nah, this is a different team. Those bodies are still over on the hill, they didn’t have much.” “Cool, cool” was my only response, and I jumped back in the car. Ah, the familiar rifle to my head, that’s how this day is going to end, I’m sure of it.

To the north, a green flare punched through the sky. I knew it was coming before they even said “get us back to that exfil” and in a flash they were engaged and decimating another team. I’m honestly not sure how they could have fit any more loot, so it must have been some tough choices between which insured weapons they would hang on the wall as trophies after this one. The exfil chopper came down, and one of them got on the chopper. The other? Gun still pointed straight at my temple. “You aren’t coming?” his friend asked, and he responded “nah, I’m going to stay a bit longer, see how this plays out.” I tried to remember if Jamie Foxx ever escaped from Tom Cruise in that movie, but didn’t have time to come to a conclusion as the gas was pushing us away from this exfil.

“Final exfil time, Raz” was the order, and we skirted the gas on the lookout for easy pickings on the way. Normally, I’m surfing the radiation looking for poor souls to help out, so this one hit different, knowing that if my hunter saw them before I did, I wouldn’t be able to save them. No prey materialized though, and the final exfil point was on the map, WAY off in the dunes, furthest I’ve ever seen it. As soon as I saw the location, I thought “yup, that’s the perfect spot to bury a taxi driver” and felt resigned to my fate. I did my best to prove my worth on the way, running over multiple AQ and landing some pretty sweet jumps over the dunes. I pulled up right to the door of the chopper, both hoping to see someone to deliver me a quick death, and praying there wasn’t some poor soul in the chopper guarding some White Lotus Intel to make it to Tier 2 about to get rolled by this demon.

Neither turned out to be true, and the seconds counted down in silence. The hunter dropped a gold bar at the foot of the chopper and said “Here you go Raz, you earned it.” I tried to tell him to keep it, as it’d be wasted on me, but he insisted. “Take the gold, RAZ” and aimed his rifle at me one last time. I did as I was told, and looked straight down the barrel, ready for the darkness. But it never came. “See you soon” the hunter said, and he was gone, chopper all to himself. I turned around, watched the storm roll in and breathed deep, with only a single thought in my mind.

“I really hope not.”


Yesterday I walked down to the Post Office and Ahmed, our local postman in Ahkdar Village, shot me a very dirty look. I mean, I know that thing with his sister caused a bit of a ruckus in the community, but I thought we were past it. “You’ve got a ton of mail, Raz” he said, and he thrust a big bag over the counter. Now, I’m just a simple taxi driver, so I’m as curious as anyone as to what this is about. “Thanks Ahmed, and tell Salem I said hello!” I exclaim, and duck the sandal tossed my way as I head out the door.

I rushed home and start opening letters. “You’re my favorite DMZ player” writes RiotSkunk. “You are my idol” writes HarryNotSax. “You’re a true hero” writes DeckedGecko. A small tear hits my magnificent mustache as I read all this love for a simple man doing simple work. The operators are learning how valuable a ride can be in the vast expanse of Al Mazrah. Sure, that asshole running around in neoprene might live and breathe to pistol whip me to death, but the good word is getting out there. Stacks on stacks of letters from other people willing to join me in my cause to provide quality, speedy rides to the operators in Al Mazrah. People who are willing to get them there or die trying. Obviously, my mission is set, but are there truly those willing to throw down their guns and yell CATCH A RIDE?

This is my call to all that are ready and able to take up the mantle of the Al Mazrah Taxi Service. Those willing to change their clan tag to TAXI and hit the road. Those willing to live by our code of ethics, willing to get our customers there, or die trying. This job isn’t for everyone, and the standards will test your abilities to the extreme.

What does it mean to join the Al Mazrah Taxi Service?

- You must NOT bring a weapon with you to work, beyond a single throwing knife. Your tactical is your choice. A skilled taxi driver can reach a car within minutes, no matter the spawn point. Your vehicle is your weapon, and all AQ are considered hostile. Even Ahmed. He made his choice when he took off that sandal.

- You must NOT engage other operators, even when fired upon. We are here to provide a service. If that service is denied, move along or die trying. HOWEVER, if you have active customers that are down and require help, you are permitted to grab a weapon or utilize any other tactic to rescue your customers from death.

- You MUST be able to communicate via proximity chat. Our official “CATCH A RIDE” call is what allows us to stand out from the competition, the corporate infidels of Uber, and those that may masquerade as taxi drivers for easy kills.

- You MUST strive to get any customers to their destination or die trying. Our job is to assist these operators, whether it’s to exfil, dead drops, points of interest, or whatever else their mission may be. If your vehicle is destroyed, your only goal is to procure another vehicle.

- We do NOT take any form of payment, whether it be money, weapons, hand cream, or gold bars, UNLESS you are forced at gunpoint. The only exception is if customers purchase you an LTV. Those VIP operators are the reason we do what we do, and we salute them.

- Al Mazrah is our home. We will stand proud as the final chopper lifts our customers to safety and breathe deep knowing our job was successful as the radiation envelopes us. The only exception is if your customers are extracting a weapons case. The contents contained within this case are too alluring to deny, so any shift is to be cut short in this special instance.

- Scuba Steve is NOT to be trusted. Any operator dressed in a wetsuit shall be considered immediately hostile, and vehicular homicide is recommended. Squad members may attempt to vouch for a particular Scuba Steve, however you must not take this risk. That slimy snake can walk his ass to exfil. NO EXCEPTIONS.

- Our official uniform is a Burger Town T-Shirt and a mustache of spectacular shape and volume. This is preferred, but not required, as it is quite rare in parts of Al Mazrah. The operator known as “Ray” (Ranger #4) is a quality choice, as he is known to be friendly to other operators.

There are some important things that those considering joining the ranks of Al Mazrah Taxi Service will need to remember.

  1. Operators can NOT enter your vehicle unless they are on the same squad as you. However, these operators should never be invited to join your squad. It is our responsibility to join their squad. You cannot do this from behind the wheel, so ensure you are unarmed and warn your customers before exiting the vehicle. Failure to do so often ends your shift abruptly.
  2. Please warn your customers that their exfil will be delayed by 30 seconds, as you will not be accompanying them on their exfil chopper. You will provide every attempt to protect them using your vehicle during this time.
  3. Gas cans are your lifeline. Al Mazrah is vast, and our vehicle selection does not deliver in the gas mileage department. We will use whatever vehicle we can find, but always keep an eye out for an upgrade. Gas stations will repair damage, but we cannot always rely on stations for fuel. Scooter leaves gas cans inside the stations for us. The more you have, the better off you are.
  4. Any operator that refuses to allow you to join their squad should be treated with caution. You must follow their wishes but keep your head on a swivel and if an opportunity to escape arises, you may do so at your own risk.
  5. Failure to adhere to our code of conduct will result in termination of employment, and most likely your life. These operators are a whiny bunch at times (sample r/DMZ for examples) and you will be exposed. Do not tarnish the Al Mazrah Taxi Service’s name for your own gain. That’s what Scuba Steve would do, and you are not him.
If after reading this, your first thought is “Hell yeah, let’s F’n GO”, then Al Mazrah Taxi Service is for you. Search for AL MAZRAH TAXI under the groups page within the social tab in game and join our cause. You can also join our Discord by following the link in the menu and sidebar sections of this subreddit. The fine moderators over there have created us our own mini-discord within the main channel. Together, we can make a difference. I appreciate the support, and look forward to growing our ranks across Al Mazrah.



To Scuba Steve. We’re coming for you. No roadway is safe. No sandy hilltop is sacred. The shine of your neoprene shines brighter to us than the most powerful sniper scope. We will find you. We will run you over. We will then back up and finish you. We will not rest, we will not waver. We are Al Marzah Taxi Service.


The sun rises on a beautiful day in Al Mazrah. The birds are chirping, the trees are swaying, and Salem is dreaming sweet dreams next to me. This simple taxi driver has so much to be thankful for, and I grab my Burger Town T shirt and head out, knowing that today is going to be a good day. The Al Mazrah Taxi Service is thriving, operators are moving around the map at breakneck speed, and the call of “Catch a RIDE” can be heard from the oil fields to the marshlands. Not even that crazy chemist and his radiation experiments can put a damper on my day today. I start my shift with a happiness that I haven’t had in months.

I’m cruising around towards the port in Big Betsy, hailing any operators on comms, gathering gas cans for my shift. There’s an LTV just sitting there outside Ahmed’s house, so you know I’m taking that. His entire neighborhood on the other side of the river from Sa’id City is NOT a fan of me, but even their hail of gunfire can’t wipe my mood. I turn the stereo to 11 and hit the port. There’s a team of operators pinned down from all sides there, and I attempt to help them out. No less than 5 AQ are introduced to my undercarriage, but even this display of driving prowess does not impress these guys. With no response on comms, a hail of suppressed gunfire sent in my direction, and black smoke billowing out from under my hood, I leave them be as Colonel Loudspeaker flew in to wreck their day.

I decide to take the spicy route and head up the hill towards the caves. My gamble pays off, and I spot an operator dressed in black and purple running up the hill. Not one to judge one’s style choices, I honk the horn and ask if he needs a ride. I don’t get a response, but he starts doing squats, so it seems he’s friendly. Without comms, I’m hesitant to leave my vehicle, and suddenly a second operator appears from the bushes. He has the look of the sasquatch, but also pops and locks to show that he’s friendly. I decide to leave my LTV so that I can send a request to join them, hopefully to either establish comms or get a ping so I know where they need to go. I mimic their moves so they know that we are on the same page. I send a second request, as I know many operators struggle with the concept. Still, though, no response. I’m starting to get nervous now, so I move to get back into the car.

Sergeant Sasquatch is up on the roof of my LTV now, so my guess is they might be the hunter type. I’m trained for this, so I make to jump in the car and head towards the shopping center. However, suddenly Private Purple is in the driver’s seat, locking me out of my own car. “Hey, that’s my RIDE” I yell, and punch the door a few times for good measure. He jumps out, so cool, we’ve got an understanding. I jump back in, and start to drive, but they immediately hop off the car. “Man, they guys are lucky Salem put me in a good mood” I groan, and jump back out of the car. “What gives, guys? Do you need a ride or what?” The Sergeant is back up on the roof right away, so obviously this guy isn’t the leader of this circus. I turn over to the Private, and he throws a bag down, containing $9800 in cash. “No sir, you misunderstand” I say, “I’ll take you wherever you need to go, on I’ll die trying.” Suddenly, he jumps into the car, and drives away.


Now, I’ve been shot, stabbed, brutally executed, and even received ‘A Friendly Hello’ from this chick Roze I met once. But never, EVER have I been carjacked. Furious, I look around for another vehicle. I find a Chop Top on the map, over 400m away. I sprint off down the hill, leaving the cash, determined to right this wrong. A few AQ take some shots at me, including a guy with an RPG. Now, I’m mad. I beat RPG guy to death with my fists and reach the Chop Top with barely any life to spare. Even the colorful Christmas lights don’t improve my mood, and I ping the exfil I’m sure that my carjackers would have gone to. Glowing red from my mustache to my boots, I speed north, intentional running over any AQ within 100m of me. I fly off a cliff and come to a hard landing near Rohan Oil and see a chopper flying away. And wouldn’t you know it, there it is. My LTV, half destroyed, with two blown out tires and only a sliver of life left. Out of principle, I fixed the tires and took it over to a station to get fixed, right as the Chemist’s experiment blew up in his face, AGAIN. Seriously, that dude really needs to find a new hobby.

I’m determined to help somebody out, if for no other reason than to restore my faith in these operators. I spot someone running towards Taraq Vilage, and swing over. “Catch a Ride!” I yell, and honk the horn. “The gas is right behind us, come on! I WILL get you to exfil, buddy!” The exfil is all the way over at the oasis, and I know that with that big LGM in his hands, he’s not making it. Apparently, he thought otherwise, and after he started turning my LTV into swiss cheese, I left him to choke in the gas. “What an asshole” I grumble and continue on. The hills around the oasis are crawling with AQ, as they all seem to want a piece of my front bumper. No less than 20 of them meet my bumper, and I slide to a stop across the water from the chopper, hearing some operators on comms. “Friendly, friendly” they shout, and I congratulate them on making it to safety. “Hurry up dude, jump on” they yell, and even back up the ramp to give me room. With 10 seconds left, I’m not sure I could have made it even if I wanted to, but I know my fate. “Sorry gents, but Al Mazrah is my home. I’m Raz, a simple taxi driver. Perhaps I can give you guys a ride next time you’re in town.” The operators find this hilarious, and their laughter gives me a sliver of hope.

Until, that is, a single sniper round blasts through my stomach. “Duuuude, you just shot the taxi driver” one of them yells as laughter fills the air. “Not cool, man. Not cool.” I say, struggling for air. As I bleed out, the chopper rotates, and the sunlight suddenly shines on him. There, on the back of the chopper, I see a man with a Signal 50 as black as the wetsuit covering all but his smug face. “Goddamn you, Scuba Steve!” are my last words as I fade away into the darkness.


I awake west of apartment, within walking distance to an LTV. After running a half marathon last time thanks to Private Purple, I was thankful for the generous gesture. I hop in and hit 3 different gas stations within a minute, flush with gas and ready to roll. I see two operators jump off the train near Adkdar Village, and hail them on comms.


These guys were cool. “Hell yeah man, we need to get to the hotel! You know where that is?” they ask. I chuckle and say “Guys, I’m Raz, owner/operator of Al Mazrah Taxi Service. Of course I know where that is. Hop on.” They jump in the back, and I don’t bother with invites, as it seemed like these guys were on a mission. Exfil was right there too, so I’m assuming they’re after the fabled golden .50cal that Captain Asshole keeps in his penthouse. I duck through the hills between Sarrif Bay and the cemetery, dodging boulders and the native adamantium bushes as we go. I pull to a stop across the water from the hotel, and ask if they need me to wait until they are done. “No thanks man, you’re a legend, thanks for the ride!” they yell, and up the ladder they go. I don’t see any orange flags, so I’m confident they’ll be fine.

I headed towards Sa’id City, and bump into another duo near the Shopping Center. Friendlies again! Now my day is looking up. They needed to hit exfil as well, having just completed their mission. I headed back south towards the hotel once more, and dropped them off. Another round of appreciation, some 5 star compliments, and that fun word once more: LEGEND. Again, too quick to even exchange invites, so I’m off and looking for my third run of the shift. My LTV is still in perfect shape, so I head towards the city. I spot a sniper glint off a nearby rooftop and choose to press my luck. “Hey man, I see you aimed at me. You need a RIDE?”

“Wait, what? Are you friendly?” was the reply, and after explaining myself, suddenly there are 3 operators in front of the car. I explain that I am unarmed and hop out of the car, sending a join request immediately. It’s instantly accepted, and we’re rolling 4 deep. They are on their way to do a weapons stash contract, so we head over to the Hydroelectric plant. It’s already pretty feisty when we arrive at the building, so we’re immediately in a battle. The target building is across the street from a gas station, so I’m in my element. Countless AQ meet their end when they meet my bumpers, and the operators head inside to clear the building. Choppers are dropping armored AQ in constantly, but they are nice and line up in little groups around their rope lines, easy pickings for a wheelman. I hit the gas station to try to repair for about the 4th time, but a group I didn’t see come in is suddenly to my left, lighting me up, and the critical damage warning starts going off. I jump out the passenger side to keep something between me and them, and dash off down the street, yelling to the team that I’ve got to get another car, and I will be back!

A few streets down I find a Hummer EV that’s seen better days. A few doors are missing, and it’s smoking, but it’s got 73% battery life. With nothing else in the area, it’ll do. I race back to the stash house silently, and find the same AQ team that destroyed my LTV about to breach the front door. They never even saw me coming, and its quiet outside when the safe opens. I hear the operators counting down, obviously trying some form of black magic foolery, so I park at the gas station, get repaired, and start waiting. Without warning, TWO LTVs are slamming into me, and comms lights up “Surprise bitches!” There are at least 6 operators in these cars, and they are NOT friendly. Instinct kicks in, and I hammer down. “I’ll be back dudes, I’ve got a problem here!” I yell, and I race towards the bridge. I’m getting hit with small arms fire, and look back to see BOTH LTVs in hot pursuit. “Get back here!” they yell, and I know that this is now a hunt, and I’m the prey. I’ve got them beat in speed, but they’ve got me beat in armor and weapons. But the biggest advantage I have? Skill. I weave through the marshlands, missing the water to maintain speed, using the buildings as covering fire. I never lift off the gas, feinting left and going right, flying through Al Sharim Pass, knocking AQ aside on my way through. It looks like I lost them, so I retreat to the gas station near my apartment, listening intently.

Suddenly, they are back on me. I fly across the train tracks, and go at them head-on Maverick style, splitting them down the middle. I’ve got distance on them now, and back through the pass I go. I’ve still got a job to do, regardless of the Murder Squad on my tail. Things are still popping off in Hydroelectric, and my customers are making their way on foot. I swap from the Hummer and grab an abandoned AQ truck, using the Hummer to both block the road and hopefully throw the hunters off the scent. My customers all pile in, and we book it towards exfil on the hills north of the caves. No sign of the LTVs, so we are in good shape. My customers got some great loot, and laugh at my exploits as we crest the ridge. They call in the exfil, and the high fives and thank yous start rolling in. As the chopper lands, the 3 of them jump in and I make to drive off in search of job number 4.

And then, a bush stands up and starts unloading a clip into the belly of the chopper. Sergeant Sasquatch was there this whole time, waiting for some easy kills. I see one guy go down, then the second, and then Sasquatch gets an AQ bumper to the back. I slam it into reverse, and run him over again to finish him off, while the surviving customer picks his team up. “That’s right, buddy, you just got owned by a damn taxi driver!” they yell, cheering and yelling. The chopper starts to lift off, the three safely on their way home with some shiny new loot.

I never see the LTVs coming. One hits me from the left, the other from the right. A drill charge hits the windshield as 3 grenades fall into my lap. I’m instantly down, and I see 6 operators crowded around me as I bleed out. “I told you we’d get you, bitch” one of them says. “You’re too late, guys” I say. “They’ve already left. You failed. I’m just the taxi driver.” As death takes me, I wait to hear their response from beyond the grave. “Bro, this idiot didn’t even have any guns! Check his pack!” “Nothing but gas cans bro. What the F was this guy doing?”

What was I doing? I was doing my job. I’m Raz, owner/operator of Al Mazrah Taxi Service. To you, I might be an idiot. But to seven other operators that match, I was a legend. And now, we are multiplying. We are expanding. We are rising up, showing the world that friendlies do exist. That there is more to do in Al Mazrah than mindless killing. We are AL MAZRAH TAXI SERVICE!


A loud crash of metal meeting concrete jars me awake from my slumber. I rush over to the window and see 3 operators running away from the wreckage of an LTV. There’s been an uptick in operators rolling into my neighborhood looking for blood lately, and this one ends like they usually do. Such is life in Ahkdar Village, and duty calls. I grab my keys and my uniform and head out in search of a vehicle.


Big Betsy’s motor hums as I head west, backpack flush with fuel and my eyes scanning for operators who need a ride. I spot an operator on the roof of the train, but he doesn’t answer me on comms, and his sniper glint gets his point across and I break off pursuit. Per usual, Ahmed’s neighbors take shots at me as I roll up, but once again, they can’t stop me as I steal his LTV and turn North towards Rohan Oil. I see a chopper dropping off some reinforcements near the quarry, so I swing through, hailing any friendly operators over comms. Again, I get no response, and it’s looking to be another slow day in Al Mazrah. I see the train headed through the oil fields, so I chase it down, and spot on operator on the last car. I yell “Catch a ride!” and see a name pop up on my scanner in red. This guy can hear me, so I explain my intentions, bracing for more gunfire headed my way.

“Wait, you’re friendly? Don’t shoot me, please!” he says, and I confirm my role here. I don’t have any weapons, I’m just a simple taxi driver, here to help him with whatever brings him to my home. I can tell that my potential customer is a bit green, but we get the invites handled, and we’re ready to move out. “So, where are we headed today, good sir” I ask. “Umm, I’m supposed to take some guys out at a shopping center, but I’m not sure where that is. Do you?” I chuckle softly and turn the LTV around. “My friend, I know where everything is. I wouldn’t be a good taxi driver if I didn’t! I’ll get you there, or I’ll die trying.” We drive off, and on the way, we chat about Al Mazrah, and why I became a taxi driver. We pass another operator on an ATV, but he’s headed towards exfil and didn’t cause any issues. We arrive at the mall and I make a quick lap of the parking garage, dispatching the AQ in the area with my bumper. I slide to a stop next to the ladder at the back side of the garage and explain that the best way for him to succeed is to head to the roof. He thanks me, and I head over to the gas station to get the dents out of the truck. I see his numbers climbing so I know he’s having success, but decide to stay local, as it’s a slow day. Suddenly, he goes down, and I hear “damn, well that didn’t work” over comms. He seems resigned to his fate, but I ask him “do you need some help over there, my friend?” It seems he forgot that we were in a squad, and realizes that he's fully down, but not out! “Wait, can you come help me?” he asks, and I explain my rules. “Sure, I can come help, but I’m going to need to you to specifically ask me to. I operate on a strict code here at Al Mazrah Taxi Service.” He quickly requests that I use any means necessary to save his life. “That’s all I needed, friend. I am on my way. I will save you, or I will die trying.”

I make another lap of the parking garage, attempting to thin the herd. The ladder I recommended earlier was a bit too spicy, so I jump out and take the long way up the parking garage. I snag an RPK and fight my way up to the roof. With only a single plate vest, I rely on mobility, speed, and the inherit fear that my glorious mustache instills in the enemy. I reach the roof, and I’m sprinting towards my customer’s body when I hear it. “This is a restricted area. Leave now or you will be fired upon!” I groan loudly, as Captain Asshole flies over the mall, throwing a big wrench into my day. I revive my customer, and we sprint off towards the car as the entire roof is suddenly assaulted with heavy fire. The Captain has spotted us, and I know from experience that as soon as he sees me not in my ride, he won’t stop until I’m swiss cheese. “Not to overstep, my friend, but might I suggest a hasty retreat?” I say, and he quickly agrees. We race back to the LTV and book it across the bridge and swing into a gas station to fix my ride. “Well, that was pretty crazy, but we still live, so now what? I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” “Well, the only other thing I need to do is put some lethal equipment into a dead drop in an alley somewhere, but no idea where that is” he says, seemingly a bit down about his day. I laugh and say “Well, once again, you’ve got the right guy, I know exactly where that is! It’s a bit of a drive, so sit back and relax. I’ll let you know when we get close.”

A quick check of my map tells me that it’s going to be safer to take the longer route, so I head back past my apartment and head north past the Marshlands on the highway. A few shots from under the road and a few easy targets walking across the city streets is all the resistance we face, and I pull up to the alleyway and stop. “Ok, right down that alleyway you’ll find a white dumpster. Throw your grenades, C4, and any other lethals you’ve got into it, and you’re good!” I pull out my single throwing knife and give it a spin. “Here, take this too. Every little bit helps.” I say, and I head around the block, knowing there’s usually some AQ ready to play spoiler in these alleys. My knowledge pays off, and I run over 4 of them as I back into the alley to provide some protection. My customer is all done, and we’re out of the area and headed towards exfil. The gas is expanding fast now, and I realize that if we’re going to make it, we’re going to have to roll through the radiation. “Hey man, you have a gas mask?” I ask, and thankfully he does. “How about you?” he asks, so I lie and say “Yup, all good” and hold my breath as we cross that line. Foot on the gas, I try to get to the other side as fast as possible, praying I don’t embarrass myself and choke on the gas after all we’ve been through. I’m down to about 25% health when we break out into the sunshine, and I swap seats, stab a stim into my chest, and am back behind the wheel, my customer none the wiser.

We put up to exfil, and everything looks clear. I caution against standing under the flare, and we cruise around until the chopper arrives. When it touches down, he’s on safely, and I wish him well. “Dude, 5 stars, Raz. Thanks for the help. You’re a legend” is the last thing I hear before he’s gone, and I resume my duties. My search for operators outrunning the gas proves unsuccessful, and I pull up to the final chopper and find it empty. I park nearby, throw my feet up on the dash, and enjoy the view. Nobody shows, and I’m back in the darkness peacefully.


New shift, new problems. I’m west of Rohan Oil, and the closest ride is a Chop Top in the quarry. Once again, I’m the weirdo with the mustache sprinting across the rocky hillside dodging small arms fire. I jump off the top of the hill, rip my chute open, and land in the driver’s seat. I hammer down as the AQ in the area rush me and send it straight off a cliff. I escape, but my Chop Top is already heavily damaged, so I head north towards the nearest gas station. Since I started at that spawn point, I roll the dice and head straight at it. The 3 AQ on the ground go down easy, and I reverse under the awning, laughing as the AQ sniper on the roof runs in circles, not willing to drop down and meet the same fate.

I’m almost fully repaired, so I jump out to grab the gas cans that I know Scooter’s got for me inside. I run through the door, and skid to a stop, fists in the air. Inside, I’m suddenly staring down two operators in Marine fatigues, both with raised fists. “Whoa, hey guys! I’m Raz, taxi driver by trade. You boys need a ride? I’ve got a car outside!” I say and snatch the gas can off the shelf. It’s a tense moment, and I’m fully ready to get beat to death, but like deer in my headlights, they just stand there. I’m not getting any response from them over prox chat, so they must be communicating among themselves. Without being able to communicate directly, I resort to the squat and lock, hoping to convey my intentions. I’m not getting anything back, and they are just walking around, so I decide to just get out of here and find some operators more willing to communicate.

With one last squat, I bid them good day and turn around to head back to my ride. “That’s weird” I think to myself as I notice that the front door is closed. I came in that way, and these two were already inside, so what gives? Did the AQ finally learn how to close doors? It only takes a moment for me to figure it out. The door flies open, and I get my answer. The afternoon sun floods in, and a figure fills the doorway. Jet black neoprene from head to toe, and a kitted out RAPP-H aimed straight at my Burger Town shirt.

“Goddamn you, Scuba Steve!” are my last words as I take no less than 75 rounds in rapid succession straight to the face. He doesn’t speak a single word, and immediately turns around and steals my car. His unarmed jackals parade over my corpse and jump in with him and ride off as the darkness envelops me. Yet again, my nemesis gets the better of me. One day, he will pay.


I snap back to life, and find myself east of Sawah Village, another terrible place for a taxi driver. It’s always So. Much. Running. The closest UTV is almost 400m away, and I’m in full sprint serpentine mode as I head north. I streak across the road in front of a truckload of AQ, but I’m up the hill and over before they can react. I grab the UTV and head north. I swing past the shopping center, hoping to find some operators, but as I round the parking garage, I realize I’ve made a grave mistake. No less than 20 Tier 3 troops are huddled up in the middle of the road. I must have stumbled upon an intense game of street craps, and these dudes are NOT happy. I keep my foot to the floor and smash through the group, taking out at least 12 of them, but it’s not enough. My ride flames out, and I’m running for my life. I know there’s always a Big Betsy parked around the corner, so all I need to do is make it there. Thankfully, it’s still there, all shined up and ready to rock, with only a single guard on it. One guard, one throwing knife, advantage me! He’s down, and I’m outta there. Sa’id City is hot today, so I take the scenic route off road towards Rohan Oil.

Another slow shift, and nobody but AQ to be found in Rohan. I decide to swing over to the city by way of Taraq Village, and I’m rewarded for my decision. “Oh shit, shit, there’s a truck coming! Operators, operators!” I hear, and see some potential customers scatter for cover. “Hey guys, you need a RIIIIDDDEEE?!?” I exclaim. “I’m Raz, owner/operator of Al Mazrah Taxi Service! CATCH A RIDE!” I pull to a stop outside the building I saw them run into and honk the horn. I listen to their decision-making process with a smile. “Dude, is this guy serious?” “Bro, I dunno, seems like a trap!” “How many of them are there?” I decide to risk it all and prove my intentions. “Ok guys, check it out. I’m going to get out of the car. I am unarmed, and my job IS to get you there, or die trying.” I jump out, fists in the air. Two of the operators come out, guns raised, but they don’t shoot. I’m in the process of requesting to join them when I take a slew of rounds to the face.

“Whoa whoa, dude, stop it! He’s really a taxi driver!” they exclaim, and they somehow talk their voiceless third guy from thirsting me harder than a solo when they find an M13B laying around. I get my request out before death takes me, and I’m back up with three new squad members. We’re laughing off that close call when myself and another operator are suddenly downed again. “Another team, another team!” and the rest of my new squad scatters. There’s a Sasquatch with an LMG across the street, and at least one more in the AO. I relax on the sand and wait to see how it plays out. At least one of my new customers is a stone-cold killer, and after an intense gunfight, the two enemy operators are found and erased. I’m revived, and after some backpack raiding, we’re ready to roll. I get a ping for an intel mission nearby and swing around through the wreckage of Taraq. We’ve quickly got the hard drive, and we’re at the tower and mission complete without any more shenanigans. I ask what’s next, and our next objective is to find and extract some Black Mous intel from Rohan Oil. “Sounds good guys, buckle up!” and I head over there. I follow the train tracks and drop them off at the stairs to the tunnels. My customers seem to think that underground is the best place to find what they need, so I hang out in Big Betsy and wait.

“Shields, shields, they’ve got shields!” The comms explode, and two of them go down. I throw the truck in reverse and get my bearings on their location. “I’m coming for you guys!” I yell, and I swing around and head underground at full speed. I see four AQ with riot shields closing in on my customers, and I line them up and mow 3 of them down as I speed through the tunnel. I slam on the brakes, throw it in reverse, and pin the last one between my truck and another car. I jump out and pick up my guys, and I’m back in the car running crowd control while they mop up the tunnels. A metric ton of Tier 3 AQ is rolling in now, and Betsy goes up in flames. The gunfire is everywhere, and I jump through a window and move through a building towards a nearby hatchback. I secure the car and get back into the fight. Over the car, under the car, through the car, every AQ in my path meets the same fate as I make my way back to the team. “I’ve got it, I’ve got it!” I hear, and I swing back down the ramp as they run out of the tunnels, manilla folder in hand. “Awesome guys, what’s next?” I ask, as they headed over to the buy station conveniently located steps away from the tunnel entrance. I see an LTV drop from the sky, and I start to get that warm feeling of appreciation. “Guys, is that for me?” I ask, as I jump out and head towards it, feeling like I just got the invite to the back room at Yum Yum for the first time.

I’m feet away from the mack daddy of LTVs, when the same mute operator that downed me when we met hops into it and speeds off to the east without a word. Guess it’s not for me, oh well. Back over to my little shitbox I go, and the rest of the operators hop in. We’ve got the intel they needed, so an immediate exfil was the call. Based on the time, and the location, I determined that the exfil on the hill near the caves was the best call, so I did my best Dakar driving across the countryside. I got a notification on my tablet that an LTV just exploded in the marshlands, which explains where Major Mute went with that sweet LTV. As we started our climb towards the exfil spot, I see a green flare flash into the sky. I hit the brakes, and said “Ok guys, another team is up there. Choice time. You want to risk a fight, or wait 30 seconds?” I threw another can of gas into the car and awaited their choice. They talked it over and decided not to risk the intel, so we watched the chopper come in, and saw two guys hop on. A third was sprinting towards the chopper as it started to lift off. “Holy crap guys, he missed it!” I yelled, as I saw him jump for the ramp and fail miserably. We watch him run off into the distance, and I asked the squad if they were ready to roll. “Yeah, let’s do it driver, it’s four against one now, so we’re good” was the response. That math didn’t work out to me, since there’s only 3 of us in the car, but hey, I’m just the driver.

Back in the hatch, we cruised up to the exfil site and popped the flare. They fanned out into defensive positions, and I roamed around in the car. Another car pulled up, and the Major was back from the marshlands and helping defending our position. Ok, there’s the math we’re looking for. A few gunshots ring out, and I hear “Easy buddy, it’s four of us versus one of you. You wanna live?” It’s the same operator that missed the chopper earlier, strangely taking pot shots at us from the bushes. “Yeah man, friendly, friendly, I’m sorry” we hear Billy Hoyle yell over comms, and he joins up with the squad. The chopper lands, and the four of them hop on. I jump out of the car and perform a countdown killing on and off, they’re shouting thank yous and headed home. I rolled north to the oasis and parked under my favorite tree, knowing that the final exfil point would be there very soon. As the gas rolled in, I saw another empty chopper head out and back to the darkness I went.

The warzone taxi game is full of up and downs. For every successful customer that I watch fly off into the sunset, I’m also subjected to the worst that Al Mazrah has to offer about 10 times more often. Brutal executions, thermite to the face, precision air strikes by A-10s while I’m filling up my car, and any number of quick deaths from AQ before I ever have a chance to yell “Catch a ride!” This line of work isn’t for everyone, only the strongest can continue to pick themselves off the sand and get back to work. For those that have joined the Al Mazrah Taxi Service, I salute you all. You are making a difference out here, and your mission to get them there or die trying is not going unnoticed.

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